Re: The Joke Thread
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Spoiler (click to read)
Anyone can roast beef, but nobody can pee soup!
I told that joke when I was a waiter at restaurant day at my school. Some type of fundraiser.
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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef, but nobody can pee soup!
I told that joke when I was a waiter at restaurant day at my school. Some type of fundraiser.
A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.
That one's been done too many times.
A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.
Now I get the short, unexplained version of that joke: "A man walks into a bar and says 'Ouch' ".
Whats more annoying
Nyan Cat or Rebecca Black?
I feel bad for you!
(are you deaf?)
If you die in Portal, it's a portality.
Or a failure on your part.
Two nuns are driving along a dark road in Transylvania, when suddenly a big, scary vampire jumps out in front of them. One nun says to the other, "Quick, show him your cross!" So the other nun rolls down the window, leans her head out and yells:
Honestly Buikes, I love Nyan Cat. And personally, rebecca black gets to much slack. It's the lyrics that infuriate everyone, and they weren't even written by her. At least she's better than Ke$ha.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from all these bar jokes.
What a sensible chicken.
Big bump.
We should get this started again. I'll go first.
There are three guys out in the woods hunting, when they come across a clearing with a huge hole in the center. They walk over to the hole, wondering what it is, and, after some inspection, decide to see how deep it is. So they begin to throw random objects in - rocks, sticks, pinecones, and other stuff, but never hear anything hit bottom. Finally one of the hunters decides to find something larger to throw into the hole, so he looks around in the shrubbery surrounding the clearing and finds an old train tie. He cuts away a little bit of rope that was tied around in, then lugs it back to the hole. He heaves it over his head and tosses it into the hole, hoping to hear a thud. Nothing. After a long wait, the three hunters decide it must be a bottomless hole. Suddenly, a goat comes running out of the bushes and jumps right into the bottomless pit. The three men are slightly complexed, when out from the woods walks a farmer. "Howdy, folks," he says, "I see you're looking at this here bottomless pit."
"Uh, yeah," says one of the hunters, "By the way, was that your goat that just jumped into the hole?"
"No," said the farmer, "It couldn't have been mine. My goat was tied fast to a railroad tie."
I'm going outside now. If anyone asks, I'm outstanding.
1.
"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?"
You channel how confused you are into a simple, "I don't know"
"...because it was dead"
2.
"An Irish man walks out of a bar"
3. And a politically incorrect one to finish
"Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food?"
You say, "no"
"Neither have they"
hahahahahahahaharharhahahahaharhahahahahahahahahahaha
Last edited by Carousel (June 29, 2013 (07:05pm))
you're disgusting
What's brown and sticky?
A stick
What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A Gummy Bear
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
hhheeeehhehehehehehehehe
Last edited by Sonjira (June 29, 2013 (07:24pm))
What's black and white and red all over?
A raccoon in a blender.
C3LegO wrote:A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.
That one's been done too many times.
Variation:
Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the third one would have looked.
So the doctor says, I have good news & bad new. The good news is, you're going to die in two days.
The patient says, "THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS?!!! What's the bad news then?"
"I tried to get a hold of you yesterday.
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