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Last edited by Lucas (September 1, 2021 (09:21am))

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I think you're right. It was weak. But it's still very good. Is the dialogue completely thought up by you? I like the bit when he says

Spoiler (click to read)

"Flying is like throwing yourself at the ground and missing."

8/10.

http://i.imgur.com/Q9NCUnx.png

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Last edited by Lucas (September 1, 2021 (09:22am))

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Nice little series you have going here.  Loved the use of dialogue to make the story interesting, lots of words of wisdom(?) in there. mini/smile

One thing I would change is to make Ben and Eric's house a little less.....red.  It's just so bright it almost distracts from the characters.

Great job overall though.

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Golden wrote:
Spoiler (click to read)

"Flying is like throwing yourself at the ground and missing."

8/10.

That's from the one of the Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy books actually. mini/smile

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Last edited by Lucas (September 1, 2021 (09:23am))