Wilco66 wrote: I really liked this entry, however, I felt like it tried to cram in a larger story than it had time to tell.
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I felt like the two shipwrecked pilots should have spent more time talking together, as they spent very little time talking, making the woman's line about him keeping her company kind of odd, as it looked like they spent 5 minutes or so together before he left. I also felt that there should have been more stuff at the beginning to tie in with the ending voiceover.
Pritchard Studios wrote:Story-wise, I'll agree that you needed more interaction between the two leads, and....
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For being stuck alone for twelve years, she didn't seem to be concerned about sending just him off, or about trying to find a solution that would help them both. It was kinda "Hi there, let me help you, and bye!" Perhaps shaving a bit of time at the start would have allowed for more on the planet.
Yeah, I know. Both of you basically said the same thing so I'll just have like one larger answer.
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It just came down to not having time to have any more dialog between the both of them. My intention with the story was this: I was going to have two parts, a medieval part, and this part. The medieval part was going to show some of the worst of humanity, pretty much just a very brutal scene with two evil men (there was more plot to it that that, but that was the point). Then there would be the space part, showing the best of humanity in that he wasn't perfect, smuggler type outlaw guy, say Han Solo/Peter Quill kinda guy. Then the woman that had been stranded there for who-knows-how-long finds him when he crashes and she understands that it's basically impossible to get back there (uncharted star systems and all), and the ship was a one seater and with the parts from both there was only one trip. So she makes the ultimate sacrifice for this man she doesn't know, she essentially gives him the chance to leave the planet and have a life at the cost of her own life. They would have talked a bit and stuff, which is where she figures out what he was doing and that he's not perfect.
So the two parts combined would have shown best/worst and then the ending narration would have happened, basically saying "hey, no matter how much the world develops around us we as humans basically stay the same, we choose to be good or bad, what are you going to choose?"
Obviously that didn't all come across as well as I had hoped because I had to cut a lot and really shorten it down. Which explains why the start needed more to tie in with the voiceover and where any interactions between them went.
Thanks for the feedback, that helps! It's sometimes hard for me to read/watch things without my preconceived notions of what it will seem like.
Pritchard Studios wrote:That opening music has a nice feel to it. Not sure why, but it does.
The voice for the gangster fella could barely be made out, but the others were pretty good. I liked the end voice over, and Smeagol was a great pick for that role.
Thanks, it was my first time doing the music for anything so it was interesting to try. I'm glad you liked the music!
Again, I knew what he was supposed to be saying so it made sense to me. I shouldn't have added so many filters. If I finish the aforementioned parts, I'll fix that in that release. And yeah, I was really happy with all the voice actors (except that Jorden guy, his seemed a bit iffy, idk).
Pritchard Studios wrote:Now, were you trying to save time on animation? Because the lack of arm and/or hand movements was noticeable.
Uhh...yes, yes I was. I still have trouble with decent dialog animation, and with the time, I tried to improvise by adding a weird little wiggle to the minifigs. Better than nothing at least.
Pritchard Studios wrote:The effects were shaky in a few shots, but the lighting up of various parts was a good choice, as it had a unique feel and looked cool. The star fields were probably the low point of the effects, with 1:15-1:17 needing some additional cleaning up.
For space lighting, blacklights are the best thing since sliced bread. So much fun, and helps things look really cool.
This was the first time I'd ever done anything close to a greenscreen, let alone a particle field for a star background. So this was literally my first try every doing anything like that, so in that sense it's not bad. But it definitely did need some more work.
If it weren't BRAWL I'm confident it could have been a lot better.
Pritchard Studios wrote: And the paper seams are visible....I like the small ship, though the red, yellow, light bley and black is a bit much. Can't remember what that style of ship is called. It's got a name right?
I couldn't figure something out to do about the paper seams with the time frame, which was disappointing because it is really noticeable. I'll certainly try and fix that for any future projects.
I can't remember the name of the spaceship, I got the instructions online a few years ago and have sense lost where they're from, I've had it built for probably 4 years. The original looked better, it was mostly just blue and yellow. I had to change it around a little for the mod element and because of piece restrictions I had.
Thanks so much for the feedback Pritchard and Wilco, I really appreciate the critique and nice comments!
Thanks Mickey and Antonio! Brickelodeon, you're
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not really
welcome. I'm sad I didn't get to do that part