Okay.

So it was a good idea, but it needs some improvements.

The whole video was pretty choppy. You'll need to keep the camera still (unless you're doing camera movements) so that it doesn't move around every frame. While we're on the subject of frames, increase the amount of Frames per seconds (FPS) to at least 15. That's pretty much the standard in brick filming.

The rest is a bit of nit picking such as changing the set around so the backdrop isn't a white wall, but instead a blue backdrop or something in regards to that. It'll make your set look a bit more lively.

The film's a bit flickery. Make sure that you're shooting in a room where you can minimal natural light - Preferably a room with no windows and just your set lights.

That's my two cents here. Keep at it and I'm sure you'll get better.

ya i will, this was my 2ed video