Topic: The Script Improvement Thread

This is a place where you can show your scripts for people to give constructive criticism, ways to improve it etc. You can also post film ideas, but you'd rather post 'em here. Have fun!

NOTE: While it's not a no no, I recommend you not to show scripts with language or sexual content.

Last edited by Thunderbolt (July 3, 2011 (11:12pm))

Back In Black!

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

Thunderbolt wrote:

NOTE: While it's not a no no, I recommend you not to show scripts with language or sexual content.

Couldn't you just give a warning beforehand?
Anyway, I like the idea of this thread. I may be posting something here soon.

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

Why is it called the script "improvisation" thread when it's just to get feedback? Good thread idea, though.

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

Isn't improvisation "making something up as-you-go-along"?

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

Yes it is. Script "Improvement" Thread, perhaps?

http://i.imgur.com/Q9NCUnx.png

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

I don't write scripts. mini/smile
I make up an idea, then I fill in the blanks with improvisation whilst animating or in between shots.
I don't see how you could improvise a script...

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

I'll start. Heres a script that I want to make into a Comedic Live Action sketch. Its about two builders who talk Cockney Slang.

Now Cockney Slang originates from London and they use rhyming words to replace normal words, if you catch my drift. So town might be replaced by Bobby Brown. Sometimes you wouldn't have a clue what they mean, but I think in this sketch you may get an idea mini/tongue

I've made a couple of mistakes which I'll have to adjust later.

http://tinyurl.com/67k2bg3
http://tinyurl.com/63xal8hhttp://tinyurl.com/6da2bpuhttp://tinyurl.com/66q72xzhttp://tinyurl.com/6efhkyohttp://tinyurl.com/6jzmuoa

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

Loool. Nice, Ratboy.

Hope you realise nobody talks like that anymore though. mini/tongue

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

Golden wrote:

Yes it is. Script "Improvement" Thread, perhaps?

Fixed.

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Re: The Script Improvement Thread

Here's the first scene from my new film I'm working on.
https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0B4Dft9 … p;hl=en_GB
I should have the full script done by next week sometime but just thought i'd get some feedback on what i've done so far.

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

here's the full script

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v& … p;hl=en_GB

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

MovingBricks wrote:

here's the full script

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v& … p;hl=en_GB

That was okay but try correcting your grammar and edit your script format a bit. This might help you.

Back In Black!

Re: The Script Improvement Thread

Grammars not my strong point mini/tongue

It would be great if you could tell me where the format needs editing and i can fix it up.
Also how long do you think it would be? I'm thinking maybe 10 minutes but I haven't got much experience with longer Brickfilms