Ok, I'm making a new film called Pharaoh's Quest. Pharaoh's Quest is a 40 minute long stopmotion played at 15 FPS. I am already 10 minutes into the film but I relised that the script is very dull and boaring. I'm going to post the script below and I would like some ideas and opinions of the script and what i should do (you can also help me fix it up a bit) Should I just start from scratch. Please help me.

Opening shot:

(Jake on motorcycle) (professor is walking through desert)

Magnifying glass falls out of professor’s pocket.

Bends down to pick up

Jake swerves motorcycle out of the way of professor.

Motorcycle crashes

Stands up.

Jake: What are you doing?

Professor turns head. I’m searching for a map.

Jake: Where did you lose it?

Professor: well a while back at my last camp site.

Jake: Well I found this object in the sand a while back.

Jake tosses map.

Professor catches.

Professor observes map.

Professor: This is not the map I lost, for it is of something much greater.

Jake: What?

Professor: The lost treasure of Amset-Ra

Jake: Who?

Professor: The most deadly man to ever receive the Egyptian crown. I have only heard
Rumors of the king but never thought much of them. What is your name, son?

Jake: My name is Jake Reins.

Professor: Well Jake it’s nice to meet ya. Hey have you ever thought of a job in archaeology, ha ha?

Jake: I don’t know. How much does it pay?

Professor: If this map turns out to be true, the value of all the possessions of Amset-Ra would be priceless.

Jake: I like the sound of that. What do I need to do for you?

Professor: As the prophecy pertold, on this map we will need 5 items that will be used as keys to reveal the location of they pyramid.

Jake: So all we need to do is get some hidden objects from the desert?

Professor: Not just any items, not only are they presented as they keys to the pyramid, but they were originally intended to be made of magic.

Jake: Listen, I don’t believe in the whole concept of prophecies, but I would be glad to help you as long as I get paid handsomely.

Professor: Jake, you shouldn’t be so fast to doubt things. When Amset-Ra was a king, he had six items crafted for him, each containing a magical element.

Jake: What kind of magic?

Professor: The golden crystal, contained the power to allow the king to control all creatures of the desert. The golden staff was made to make his servants that he truly believed in to be loyal even after death. The soul diamond allowed the king to create mirages to confuse his enemies. The golden sword allowed Amset-Ra to be able to destroy any object. The scarab shield was made of pure gold to allow nothing to pierce it. And the golden headdress allowed the king to live forever and see the future.

Jake: If the objects were real, then Amset would still be alive today.

Professor: Yes, but Amset died before the objects were completed, so he was buried with the headdress in hope one day he would come back to life. And the rest of the objects were hidden all across Egypt, so nobody could ever disturb the king.

Jake: Well that won’t stop us.

Professor: We are going to need help, someone who is good with motors.

Jake: Wait, I think I know someone who is good for that.

Professor: Who?

Jake: My old friend Mac McCloud. He can fly out here within the next day as long as he gets paid of course.

Last edited by legostothemax (May 3, 2011 (06:43pm))