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What is it? A teleporter? Time-traveling doohickey?
It hooked me, reeled me in, and then it stopped trying. And that was it. I wish there was more but I guess your course didn't require more than this. Cinematography was good, animation could have been smoother. You seem to be missing that mid-step between raising a foot up and setting a foot down.
The animtion was a little choppy, but I still liked it.
Not many short films succeed in conveying a sense of dread. The atmosphere in your film was rich with (danger/ doom/ loss) thanks to your set design, carefully planned shots, and nice voice acting. The flashlights were well done too. From the start I got the feeling something was wrong and that was a good feeling.
The shot where the duo are walking and you can see the floor of the cave-this was a nice shot because the floor isn't flat. There are curves and pebbles-nicely done.
There are some things I noticed which set the movie back a bit.
Others have already mentioned the stilted walk your characters have. The leg that is up doesn't come down right away-try to make it more organic rather than band march-y.
The sound effect for the computer springing on seemed anti-climactic. The mood of your movie suggests a drone or humming noise, the pop didn't work for me.
Your choice of face for Emily was disturbing because when she gets knocked out she's still smiling and her eyes are still open. Perhaps a modified face that you can swap out or have her on her side with her back to the camera?
On first viewing, the ending after the credits was a jarring 180 degree turn from your atmospheric progress to that point. The higher pitched RAH (this audio comes out louder than other sounds in your movie) while the alien pokes the man is a good attempt at humor, but it seems misplaced to me. In my head I see the main character slowly being dragged off screen while the orb pulsates in the background...
In all, your movie is fun to watch. It brings touches of fear and dread which this community needs so close to Halloween. Please take my suggestions lightly, I am not a professional.
I speak for everyone when I say: We hope to see more!
On a positive note, the cinematography was really good. The atmosphere you created with the lighting and music was brilliant. Nevertheless, I found the storytelling to be a little sketchy, and while I liked what I could get out of the idea, I didn't really understand it. My best guess would be
it teleported him to another "glowing sphere thingy" on another planet. Simular to a Stargate. Or perhaps it was another time/dimension.
But see I simply don't know, and without knowing these certain facts, it becomes almost pointless. I do think, however, if you were to expand on this idea someday and make it into a full short film, it could be quite epic.
The effects, I thought, were done quite well. I liked how you did the flashlights. The animation was rather choppy, walk cycle wise, but I felt it was still sufficient.
Overall, a very interesting short and I'll be keeping my eye out for other films from you. 6.5/10
Kim Gohlich! Good to see you're animating again.
Like most others are saying, nice work with the cinematography and lighting (though you may have gone a little overboard with the blue filtering, and some of the camera movements were a bit rough). Also, I really like what you did with the snow effects, I'd be very interested to hear what you used for that.
As far as the story goes, I will also echo the others in the "too many questions, not enough answers" sentiment. While it certainly had the makings of a very mysterious and atmospheric story, too much happens without explanation, and then ends rather abruptly. However, I won't hold it against you too much since this was made for a class, and I imagine there was a bit of a time budget (I can certainly relate to that, haha).
Last edited by MindGame (October 20, 2010 (01:09pm))
Too many questions, not enough answers. It's like seasons 1-4 of LOST all over again.
Sounds like my Maths exam...
Thanks for the welcome back and the comments (the positive and the negative).
I know that animation has never really been my strong point and it's something I want to work on. As for the story, I've always been terrible at trying to come up with short, self contained stories, but for my assignment I had certain time constraints (both in terms of production time and film length) and so I decided to set up a story that I could expand on later. And whilst this doesn't excuse certain elements of the story, I am planing to give at least some answers in the future, which will also tie into a planned "Ben" remake.
Oh, and MindGame, the snow is baking powder.
Oh, and MindGame, the snow is baking powder.
I KNEW IT, I was going to use baking powder for one of my videos at one time. But it looks like yours was wet?
Kinda gross how
he puked, or spat out blood then fell in it.
Great short film!
But there were some things i have to be picky about.
Such as when
the cave starts to collapse
it sort of lacks the intensity that such a scene should have.
And the fact that you made the film out in the beginning to be a much longer film than it really was.
I won't mention the only slightly choppy animation, because as lots of people seem to forget, it doesn't take really good animation to make a good film.
And that, is my two cents.
Incredible, unbelievable mindlowing work.
The darkness, cutted by the lighters, is verry verry well made. It realy lookslike a big deep cave, because one create the rest what is NOT visible by him self.
Ok, the animations itself is sometimes a bit...choppy (??), but anyway, that dosn´t matter in the grest masterpiece.
Too bad that you are using copyrighted music in the clip.
Anyway, its well done,
I love your lighting effects! What programs did you use to do that?
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