Thanks LostinPie. I think I have decided to not to have the daughter get killed. It sort of slows down the movie. And it creates a road block for me to keep scripting. Is that a good idea?

Yea I know. I just want people to like my film.

Here is another part fo my script.(snipet):D

Scene is in a large crowd of minifigures standing around a podium. Jim Genero enters in from the left and stops walking in the center of the base plate. There is chatter in the background.
Background voice 1: Aww man I dropped my ice cream!
Background voice 2:  When’s the president going to come out?
Camera circles Jim. Voices are less audible at this point. Jim turns to face the podium as the president comes out and walks to the podium.Background voices: Woo! Yahh! (Yelling)
Silence overtakes the crowd as the president prepares his speech.
President: My fellow Americans, this nation is a great nation. Now I address you today because this great nation is falling, falling from its own feet. Crime rules our cities. People live without homes. And the general welfare of the United States of America is falling! I say no to crime… Gunshot rings out over the crowd.
Background voices: Ahh! (Scream)Civilians start to run out of the screen. Camera switches to the sniper building.
Sniper: The job is finished sir.  You see the sniper standing at a window.
Gabriel: Good, kill all subjects. I don’t want anyone to see anything.
Sniper: Yes sir. You can hear the sniper cocking his gun in the background while Jack (a bad guy) takes out his gun and starts to eliminate all subjects. You can see Jim dash behind a dumpster in the background. Camera sweeps over to the dumpster and you see Jim poke his head and his gun out from behind the dumpster. Jim fires the gun. Gun has a little recoil. Jack falls to the ground injured but not dead. His gun lands a few feet away from him. Jim rushes over and picks the gun up. Camera switches view to the inside of the building. The sniper opens fire on Jim as he runs to pick up the gun. Camera might have crosshairs in the scene, but unsure Camera switches to where Jim is. Jim picks up the gun and runs about 4 studs to the right then opens fire on the sniper. You see the glass break into the inside of the building. Then you see the sniper fall down. Unsure if he is not dead.   

Last edited by Crooshair ANimation (December 23, 2009 (07:52am))

1) FYI: Camera directions don't usually go in the script, as they're boring and break up the flow of the story for anyone reading it; however, since you're both the writer and director and you don't need 30 people to read and approve it before the film gets made, in this case it's okay.
2) How the heck does the President manage to get away from the secret service without attracting any attention?
3) They sell concessions at a presidential speech?
4) Two guys are supposed to take out the entire crowd at a presidential speech? And why? The president is dead... it's not like if there are no eyewitnesses to report it, no one will miss the guy and eventually figure out what happened. If the idea was just to prevent anyone who saw something incriminating, wouldn't they be better served by just shooting the president, ducking down, and getting out of there?
5) FYI: It's usually a good idea to keep character names as different as possible, to make it easier for the viewer (and reader) to follow. "Jack" and "Jim" are a little close for comfort. Perhaps "Jack" and "Tom."

Last edited by Noodle (December 23, 2009 (11:42am))

Well,the president doesn't know that it is to destroy the nation and the secret service go with him. He thinks that it will help the nation. Also when the president gets shot the crowd could have seen something that could help solve the crime ultamtily destroying their plan. The president also has some important information in his pocket including the location of the bad guys base and the bad guys know that the presidents body would be taken away right after he is shot. They plan to get the information and go back to their base. They kill all the people so that no one can tell the police which way the bad guys went. They kill the secert service members also because they know where the base is. There is no food at this speech (partly because I have no food pieces).

Also what do you think of the name "The Bullet" for the movie?

Last edited by Crooshair ANimation (December 23, 2009 (09:17pm))

Here's an idea, why don't you call your movie, Crosshair, although it's your name, and I don't know if it's already been used, but it can be quite compelling.

If you have PI or FXHome then you could make a smokescreen, and when the smoke fades away the president could be lying on the floor. Then you could merge a who-dunnit with an action film, by switching from shots of the detective to shots of the assasin. Also, why not call the film something like "The Tales Of Nightclaw" (Nightclaw could be the name of the assasin)

Dog

I'm back. Possibly.

Maybe he is... besides, he is an assasin...

I'm back. Possibly.