Yeah, the story did move way too fast. How did they figure out he was trapped in a dream? Why does the hospital have a device that can enter someone's conciousness, and why does it not still belong to the military? Surely they need it more than a hospital? And surely the boy could have made the monster go away himself if he's able to create things himself at will?
But aside from the fast-moving story, its not bad at all. The lightings good, the musics good, the majority of voice acting is good, the dream world has a really nice atmosphere when the dad enters it and I liked how the atmosphere changes as the dream turns into a nightmare. Its a shame we dont get to see more of this world, and I would have liked to have seen how they had gotten out since we are in the boys dream and therefore surely cannot escape. But this is the guy who makes 'Mr Socially Impaired' trying to bring logic into a Brickfilm.
I assume the fast moving story was due to the rushed finish - and it is a shame you ran out of time since this is a nice concept (although I haven't seen 'Inception' yet) and I would have liked to see it explored more.
But you made the best out of what you had, and therefore I give you 4/5. Nice work!