well, here is a revised script with the suggestion made, i am a little worried that it lost some originality with the removal of the character death but i suppose it is a trade off since the story became better. i would love to hear what you think of my advante garde entry... and as always comments are welcome!

thanks for all your help!

Opens with a view of an ocean during a thunderstorm ... Goes black and shows title.

Now it shows parts of battles and fights

Mystery Voice: WWII, A time of death and destruction, This tale shows one mans realization that he wasn’t fighting to kill the other side, but to prevent death... and how not every enemy is bad...

Part 2: The death of Louis
Takes place at a small outpost with few men

Watchman: Sir, Enemy troops down range!
Commander: Battle stations!
Watchman: They seem equal in number to us.
Louis: The turret defense system is offline sir!
Commander: No! We are susceptible to attack, get it back online now... Go!

( 2 Heavy artillery vehicles roll over the hill)

Watchman: Enemy Barrage Vehicles on route sir!
Commander: Hurry up!
Troops: We will go and try to hold back the infantry! Roger, Cover us!
Sniper Roger: You Got it.

(A shell comes through the bunker wall and knows down roger, 1 of the 2 infantry units and destroys 1 turret)

Commander: Tell Jeff we are coming down now! Where is Louis with that turret system!
Infantry: Jeff, We have trouble, we are coming down, work on the turrets and fast.

( remaining troops meet Jeff and 1 infantry in backup bunker in a canyon, all of a sudden, as 3 more shell come through a missile is launched and destroyed right before impact by turret 2.)

Louis: Commander, it is done.
Commander: good job... Watch out!

( Shell comes through and strikes the wall Louis is on, sending Louis down and under rubble... to his death.)

Commander: Get those tanks out now before we lose more men...

( The last thing he hears is the scream of is commander dying)

Part 3: Realization

(Louis Wakes up)

Commander (Death): Welcome back Louis,  you have been out for a while
Louis: Commander! you survived! How’s the battle?
Commander (Death): Louis, I have something more pressing to discuss with you
Louis: Huh? your the command! you have to lead us!
Commander (Death): just come
Louis: Hold on... What is going on here... I thought we were dead and now we are back and all you want me to do is follow you to the enemy lines! I am a Medic!
Commander (Death): Louis... You will figure it out... now come.

( They walk towards the enemy)

Louis: They Don’t seem to see us... I... Didn’t survive... did I?
Commander (Death): Relax, it will all work out in the end.
Louis: How?
Commander (Death): Just trust me.

Part 4: The Enemy Lines

Commander (Death): Here we are.
Louis: Wow... this is carnage...
Commander (Death): Do you recognize him?

(Points to a man lying on the ground)

Louis: What! He’s the man who shot me!
Commander (Death): Yes but don’t lash out... He was doing his job and look how he was repaid, they left him here.
Louis... Wow...
Commander (Death): It is time to go...
Louis: Huh?
Commander (Death): Goodbye Louis...

Part 5: Conclusion

Shouting is heard

Louis: uhhh. where am i?
Medics: Captain Louis! your alright!
Louis: Huh? Where is the commander!
Medic 1: ... He is dead, we couldn’t save him
Louis: Come with me Men!
Elsa: Louis! we won the battle, the fighting is over!
Louis: I said come!

( They walk towards the enemy troop who was lying on the ground)

Enemy: Uhhhh...
Louis: Men get him on that stretcher and bring him back
Medic 2: Huh?
Louis: You heard me!

And so, the man who i talked to was not the commander but the spirit of death, the enemy man healed and soon joined us, he rose to be a general. All of us remember well the day of that battle. It was a real turning point in my life and I realized that the world will never be fair... but we can help.