Like what has been said, well done for taking on this project, and make sure to think very carefully about the lighting next time
My only other criticism would be that (assuming the bricks in the background of the second pic are supposed to be a cityscape) is a bit too much in focus, and so the effect does not work as well as it could. Try messing around with different apertures. You should also try to use only one colour, or, if you are going to use more than one split the colours into different rows of skyscrapers. This will also give a bit more depth than what you already have (although I wouldn't say that it is entirely necessary for you to have more depth than what you already aside from the aforementioned point above).
Besides that I really liked the use of the permanent marker, it works surprisingly well!
Who even reads this?