Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Remember, there are only two days left to submit an entry.

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Oh good, I thought the date was tomorrow… I'm almost done. I just have to cut this script a little more so I'm within the six page limit.

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Ok, sorry for the double post, but here's my script.

The Fourth Wall

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Here's mine!  It's called BARRY'S SHOW.  Here's a link to the official PDF script!

https://app.box.com/s/fha6geu7mrnwe45s9jld9f65vb728ct1

Below is the full text.  Please note that it wasn't proofread, and a common problem I have typing is to type INT HE for IN THE.  Please overlook this typo.

Oh, and I didn't ship your prize yet.  The 4 day weekend made getting things done tough and I sept the week playing catch up.  I'll mail tomorrow.
---

Barry's Show

SCREENPLAY BY

MICHAEL C. TOURETTE

--

INT. BARRY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

Barry's room looks like a typical modern living room, with CHAIRS, a centrally-located COUCH, a TV on a STAND, END TABLES with LAMPS, etc.  There is a visible FRONT DOOR stage right, and a KITCHEN DOORWAY stage left.  A young man, BARRY, is sitting on the couch.

BARRY
(to audience.)  Hi.  My name is Barry, and this is my show.  It's great having a show.  I can do anything that I want without anyone to disturb me.

There is a knock on the door.

BARRY
(to audience.)  Hold on, a moment.  Someone's at the door.  Let's find out who it is.

Barry gets up, walks to the door, and opens it.  It's his friend, PETE.

BARRY
Oh, hi, Pete!  (to audience.)  Hey, everybody.  It's my friend, Pete.

SFX: Applause

BARRY
C'mon, in, Pete.

Pete comes in, walking toward one chair.  Barry walks back to the couch.

PETE
Why, thanks, Barry, what are you up to?  Who are you talking to?  What was that clapping?

Barry and Pete sit down.

BARRY
Oh, that was just the audience.  This is my show.

Suddenly, Pete jumps up excitedly.

PETE
This is a SHOW?  (Looks to audience.)  I always wanted to be in a show! (turns his head in every direction.)  Where is it?

Barry gets up, grabs Pete's head, and turns it toward the unseen audience.  Barry points with his other hand to the audience.

BARRY
Right there.

PETE
Oh.  (Pause.)  I knew that.

BARRY
Sure you did.

PETE
Yeah.  Of course I did.  It's in the script.

BARRY
What script?

Pete reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a SCRIPT.

PETE
This one!  I wasn't really surprised to be in you show. I just was performing my lines.  Pretty convincing, wasn't it?

BARRY
No, my show doesn't have a script.

PETE
So says your line int he script.

BARRY
No!  I'm just doing things right out of my head.

PETE
So says the script.  See?

Pete puts the script in front of his face and points at it.  Barry grabs the script and tears it up, then throws it on the floor.

BARRY
No script?  Okay?!

PETE
It's okay.  (pause.)  I knew you were going to do that.  It was in the script.

BARRY
So today I'm here with my friend Pete, and we're just going to have a normal, slice-of-life day.

PETE
Until something goes wrong.

BARRY
Well, hopefully, nothing's going to go wrong.

PETE
You mean, hopefully, something WILL go wrong.  Didn't you ever watch the Sixth Sense?  That kid says that a story's boring unless there are some twists.

BARRY
If that's the case, you coming in is what went wrong.

PETE
No, it's gotta be something that needs to be resolved.  Like, you're driving and you run out of gas.

BARRY
Well, what kind of twist do you have in mind?

PETE
Gee.  I thought you'd come up with something.

BARRY
It was your meatball idea.

PETE
Okay.  Let's see.  (pause.)  How about... we run out of gas?
BARRY
But I'm not even driving a car!

PETE
It was a good twist in The Sixth Sense.

BARRY
The guys int he story were in a car!  We're in a house.

PETE
Okay.  (pause.)  I know!  The house runs out of gas!

BARRY
I have electric heat.  Now, if you have no ideas, I was going to make breakfast.  Let's go into the kitchen.

PETE
Okay!

BARRY
I was talking to the audience.

Exit Barry, followed by Pete to

INT. KITCHEN - DAY - CONTINUOUS

There is an ISLAND STOVETOP and a REFRIGERATOR, CABINETS and all the rest of the things you find in a kitchen.

BARRY
Well, here we are in my kitchen.  I'm going to make a ham and cheese omelet.

PETE
I'm lactose intolerant.

BARRY
Are you kidding me?

PETE
I can't help it.  It's part of my character description.  Besides, it's a convenient way for the writers to put in that plot twist.

BARRY
There ARE NO WRITERS!  I'm ad libbing!

PETE
So says the script.  You know, some people don't even realize that there are scripts.  They think we just make up the story as we go along.

BARRY
I'm not taking the bait.  So anyway, I'm making an omelet and Pete will have nothing.

PETE
So, this is a character development story.

BARRY
Now what are you talking about?

PETE
It's a story about how selfish you are at first, but interaction with more enlightened characters... myself... makes you realize the error of your ways and... due to me... you become a better person.

BARRY
Okay, stop annoying me!  Here!

He opens the refrigerator, takes out some EGGS, goes to the cabinet and gets a BOWL, opens a drawer and gets a FORK, and puts them all on the island stovetop.

BARRY
(cracking the eggs.)  So, I'm cracking open some eggs, (puts in bowl, grabs the fork.)  scrambling them...

PETE
I like them fried.

BARRY
(scrambling eggs with fork.)  Good for you!

Barry grabs a FRYING PAN from a cabinet and puts it on the stovetop, then turns the stovetop on and puts the eggs on it.

BARRY
And now, I cook the eggs, and by the magic of television, they are done!  And they're all for my friend Pete!

Barry shows the eggs to the audience.  SFX: Woos.

PETE
Hey, this IS a character development story.  (grabs the fork and starts eating eggs right out of the pan.)

BARRY
You know, that fork contains raw eggs!  You're going to get salmonella poisoning!

PETE
(still eating.)  I know.  It's in the script.  Isn't that great?  Now there's a new twist to make your life interesting.

BARRY
Aw, no!  No more twists!  I'm putting an end to these complications right now.

PETE
(still eating.)  Oh, yeah?  How do you intend to do that?

BARRY
Like THIS!

Barry holds his hands up in the air.

CAPTION: THE END

CUT TO BLACK

PETE
I knew that was going to happen.  It was in the script.

CREDITS

Last edited by HoldingOurOwn (February 19, 2016 (07:52am))

https://vimeo.com/channels/holdingourown      http://holding-our-own.tumblr.com

"None practice tolerance less frequently than those who most loudly preach it."

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Alright, I really enjoyed Jasper's entry but the winner is HoldingourOwn.  You will receive the exclusive Screenplay Challenge Winner Certificate.  Congratulations!

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Cool1  Still thinking of a topic.  I sent your prize for last week out.

https://vimeo.com/channels/holdingourown      http://holding-our-own.tumblr.com

"None practice tolerance less frequently than those who most loudly preach it."

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

New topic: hard Sci-Fi.  Hard sci fi is where real science as it's know is a major part of the story.  No light-speed travel, for instance.  No time travel to change the past kind of stuff.  The science is realistic.  So if there's a space mission to another solar system, it's got to be within the limitations of the laws of physics.

Deadline is 11:59 Eastern Time, March 6th.

https://vimeo.com/channels/holdingourown      http://holding-our-own.tumblr.com

"None practice tolerance less frequently than those who most loudly preach it."

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Here's my entry.

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Thank you!  C'mon gang!  almost all of us love sci-fi here.  You still have 1 1/2 days to write something.  It doesn't have to be long, and if you have problems with the screenplay format, I'll advise on structure.

https://vimeo.com/channels/holdingourown      http://holding-our-own.tumblr.com

"None practice tolerance less frequently than those who most loudly preach it."

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Yes, please do enter.

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Let me go until the 9th!  Everyon, you have until 11:59 PM on the 9th to enter a sci-fi script!

One Douglass, did you get your prize in the mail yet?

https://vimeo.com/channels/holdingourown      http://holding-our-own.tumblr.com

"None practice tolerance less frequently than those who most loudly preach it."

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

HoldingOurOwn wrote:

Let me go until the 9th!  Everyon, you have until 11:59 PM on the 9th to enter a sci-fi script!

One Douglass, did you get your prize in the mail yet?

Yes I did.  Thank you for it.

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

One Douglass, you win by default.  I'm disappoitned because the topic is very broad and not too difficult, and so many brickfilmers here love sci fi, I thought we'd see some competition!

https://vimeo.com/channels/holdingourown      http://holding-our-own.tumblr.com

"None practice tolerance less frequently than those who most loudly preach it."

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

The new theme is For the Greater Good and the deadline is March 27th 2016.
Happy screenwriting!

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Sorry about the double post, but would anyone like a longer deadline or different theme?

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

Maybe a longer deadline... this week many people are of school, so maybe the end of the week.

https://vimeo.com/channels/holdingourown      http://holding-our-own.tumblr.com

"None practice tolerance less frequently than those who most loudly preach it."

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

The new deadline is April 5th.  Hopefully people will want to enter this time.

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

If I make a new theme will anyone be interested in entering?

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

I really wish we had more talent to compete.

https://vimeo.com/channels/holdingourown      http://holding-our-own.tumblr.com

"None practice tolerance less frequently than those who most loudly preach it."

Re: The Screenplay Challenge

I might enter. I've been wanting to work on my writing.

I do not brickfilm anymore, but you can see my live action stuff here.