Topic: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

Hey everyone!

SCRIPT:

Masons interview

Diploma: Alright. tell me your full name.

Mason: Mason!

Diploma: No. Your full name

Mason: Oh, sorry. Mason Gordon

Diploma: Okay Mason. How old are you?

Mason: 27...I think.

Diploma: Have you committed any felonies throughout your life?

Mason: Yes, I mean no, I mean maybe

Diploma: Do you have any fears?

Mason: Yes. Fear of criminals.

Diploma: Final question. Why do you wish to join the police force?

Mason: So I can become a Storm Trooper!

Diploma: You mean State Trooper?

Mason: Right. State trooper

Diploma: Okay Mason, I'd love to stay and chat, but your a complete idiot. Goodbye

Scene two

Mason: I think that I have an excellent chance at becoming a police officer. Although, that rude lieutenant should treat people more polity, instead of walking around the building all day.

Diploma: You becoming a police officer! Dawdling around the building all day! Mason, you have no idea what your signing up for. Now, the Commissioner would like to see you in his office immediately.

(Mason walks the wrong way)

Diploma: Wrong way.

Mason: I knew that.

Scene three

(Inside the commissioners office)

Mason: Commissioner, you wanted to-

Commissioner: Yes, have a seat.

Mason: Okay.

Commissioner: Mason, do you know why you are here?

Mason: Because I'm a police officer?

Commissioner: Yes, but also because your-

(Mason jumps out of his chair, lights come on, and he starts dancing)

Mason: I'm a police officer!

Commissioner: Mason, leave.

Mason: Sorry Commissioner...


Please tell me if there is anything I need to change or add!
Thanks! mini/smile

-Supremacy

Last edited by ShadowSupremacy (August 16, 2011 (02:20am))

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Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

That's too short. Try expading it and improve the dialouge.

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Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

Thunderbolt wrote:

That's too short. Try expading it and improve the dialouge.

Yes Thunderbolt is absolutely correct, you need to lengthen you script. There's not really any meaning to the story. I would turn this into like a comedy or something, to give it a sense of meaning.

I'm working on getting my studio back up and running, so stay posted...

Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

Thanks guys, and it is a comedy. I want to see this made into a comedy police series, and your right, I should use better vocabulary, but I'm trying to mimic the style Forrestfire101 uses. If I'm going to add something new to the script, I'll just edit the first post mini/smile

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Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

ShadowSupremacy wrote:

I'm trying to mimic the style Forrestfire101 uses.

You can mimic the style of his films, but not the language in them.

Back In Black!

Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

Thunderbolt,

am I using inappropriate language that I should probably take out?
Thanks for your help!

Last edited by ShadowSupremacy (July 28, 2011 (12:48am))

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Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

ShadowSupremacy wrote:

Thunderbolt,

am I using inappropriate language that I should probably take out?
Thanks for your help!

No you're not. I'm advising beforehand. mini/smile

Back In Black!

Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

Thunder,

Oh sorry, I understand what your saying now.
By the way, do you have a voice familiar to the one Forrestfire101 uses for batman?
Because if so, would you like to voice Diploma?

I'm feeling it again!

Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

The part "Because your allowed to use firearms and shoot people!" didn't make me laugh. mini/confused I think you should think through your jokes a little more. That one is just not funny.

I'm working on getting my studio back up and running, so stay posted...

Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

ShadowSupremacy wrote:

I'm trying to mimic the style Forrestfire101 uses.

Why? I'm not trying to be critical, I'm just asking out of curiosity.

http://www.majhost.com/gallery/StudioL30/Random-Pictures/youtube.jpghttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/StudioL30/Random-Pictures/sitelogo.jpg

Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

ShadowSupremacy wrote:

Thunder,

Oh sorry, I understand what your saying now.
By the way, do you have a voice familiar to the one Forrestfire101 uses for batman?
Because if so, would you like to voice Diploma?

Unfortunately, no. But there are good voice actors here on BiM.

Back In Black!

Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

Thanks guys!
And to Anteater, if you've got a line for the part where he says, "Because your allowed to use firearms and shoot people!" then I'll be happy to receive a line and give you credit for it!
And to Studio, I basically just love the style that he uses!


-Supremacy

Last edited by ShadowSupremacy (August 21, 2011 (02:24am))

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Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

Ok I'll think of a line. mini/smile btw I didn't mean to be rude or anything. mini/wink

I'm working on getting my studio back up and running, so stay posted...

Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

I know your not being mean dude!
Your just giving me some advice!
Thanks mini/smile

I'm feeling it again!

Re: Mason and Diploma: Mason's Interview

I'm going to make this into a complete episode very soon, so please tell me if there is anything to change.
Thanks!

I'm feeling it again!