Hm. Poor turnout this round.
SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS
I don't get it, but it's funny.
"Jack contemplated his next move carefully. He'd have to silence the guards' snoring if he didn't want yet more guards investigating the thunderous noise. He looked in his "bag of tricks", hoping desperately that inspiration would strike. Hmm, he had a broken MP3 player, the single AAA battery inside it and a rubber duck. He wasn't exactly the brightest cat burgler around..."
The rubber duck had me sold.
"Noooobody knows... the trouble I've seen... Noooobody knows... my sorrow..."
"Can't you sing something more cheerful?"
"I've got a lovahly bunch of coconuts. Diddle de-dee-dee..."
Makes no sense. I like it.
"He sees you when you're sleeping..."
Humourus and seasonal, too!
Congrats to everyone (who didn't submit a sex-related caption)!