You say this script is finished? Is this just the first episode?
I'm making an assumption here, but I guess the robber wants the 'ultimate emerald' so he can save his wife... If that is the case, I think the story would be better served having the flashback right at the end. Don't let the viewer know that the robber is/was good until the big reveal at the end. He can still look at the painting, but don't let the viewer know why he is feeling emotional.
Show us more of the 'ultimate emerald'. It sounds fairly important, yet it only gets the briefest of mentions.
Consider naming the Robber. It'd make things easier to read. Really, as far as screenplay formatting goes, you shouldn't really put description into parenthesis in the action lines. You should be showing us that the Robber used to be good, not telling us. However, in this instance, I don't think it's too important, as this is only for you to work from. Just worth bearing in mind.
Last edited by mad_hatter (February 10, 2020 (09:38am))