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	<title type="html"><![CDATA[Forums - Bricks in Motion - Writers' Thread]]></title>
	<link rel="self" href="http://bricksinmotion.com/forums/feed/atom/topic/8746/"/>
	<updated>2011-04-15T00:33:34Z</updated>
	<generator>PunBB</generator>
	<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/topic/8746/writers-thread/</id>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/210982/#p210982"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[Thanks for the feedback.
Re. The deer bit: during mating season bucks will charge people if intimidated. It's not incredibly common, but it does happen on occasion and isn't too fun when it does (even more irritating is when they charge parked cars). You are right though, I agree that I overdid the narration there. I think buck of a deer does make sense, in a 'there is a deer and it is a buck', but you're probably correct in saying that it doesn't sound very authentic. Really just a bit of laziness on my part, I suppose. I should have looked for a less intrusive way to get the meaning across. I appreciate that you took the time to go over the story. It's nice to see someone reads my stuff.
 :D]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Squash]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/36/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-04-15T00:33:34Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/210982/#p210982</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/210957/#p210957"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[Good story, though the narrator's voice sounds a bit inauthentic at times. For example, the phrase "buck of a deer" doesn't really makes sense, and a country boy wouldn't be intimidated by a deer or call it "fierce," because they are extremely docile animals.

I liked some of the disorienting aspects of the narration. To me, the narrator comes across as gay; not sure if that was intended.]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Dirk Diggler]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/504/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-04-14T22:28:35Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/210957/#p210957</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/204728/#p204728"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[I really like it, Topit. It has some pretty funny points, and the overall structure is good. Very nice.

I wrote this story yesterday, and I'm not sure if I like it or not. It feels like I'm falling back into a funk with regards to pacing, and I think that might make it weaker than it should be... which is an issue, since I'm not an extremely strong writer to begin with. I think I still like the idea, but next time I'll try something less straightforward and make more of an attempt to fix the unbalance I keep fighting. 

[url]http://tinyurl.com/4qfzoba[/url]]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Squash]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/36/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-03-13T20:30:24Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/204728/#p204728</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/202472/#p202472"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[Booyah! A Sci-fi Poem I wrote at school!

[b]Ode to a Flying Saucer[/b]

It came out of the sky
Like a bowl full of pie,
Swirling in all directions.

To us it announced,
“You shall now be trounced.”
At this we replied, “Objection!”

We took out our guns,
And fired at once.
The aliens saw no connection.

They ignored our yells, 
And dodged our shells, 
And finally said with inflection:

“We’re tired of this game, 
It’s always the same.
Now, prepare for dissection.”

As we gave up our fight, 
They responded with spite.
“We’re sorry. It’s Natural Selection.”]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[topit]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/2995/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-24T22:00:09Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/202472/#p202472</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/200297/#p200297"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[I uploaded a short story I recently wrote to bibliofaction:
[url]http://www.bibliofaction.com/read/ViewStory.aspx?story=1db15955-a96c-48a5-abe4-35d7e641db36[/url]]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[KinzCove]]></name>
				<email><![CDATA[kinzcove@yahoo.com]]></email>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/143/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-11T01:39:14Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/200297/#p200297</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199395/#p199395"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[[quote=Badger]This thread might get more attention if you remove the 3 feedback posts rule. That way, people that want to share can share, and there's likely to be feedback more constructive than the feedback that has already been posted.

Sure, some stories might get ignored, but at least the people that do get feedback [b]will get more than "great story."[/b][/quote]


*Cool story, bro.]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Brickyman]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/110/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-05T23:51:23Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199395/#p199395</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199208/#p199208"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[This thread might get more attention if you remove the 3 feedback posts rule. That way, people that want to share can share, and there's likely to be feedback more constructive than the feedback that has already been posted.

Sure, some stories might get ignored, but at least the people that do get feedback will get more than "great story."]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Badger]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/144/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-04T22:15:02Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199208/#p199208</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199174/#p199174"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[nice, that is exactly what snow feels like! Is like the whole world having a snow day or what???]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[topit]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/2995/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-04T20:26:42Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199174/#p199174</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199165/#p199165"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[Cheesy poem I made for school:

[u]Snow[/u]
To step outside,
  cold will bite,
    flakes will fly,
      smells of water
        shall fill 
          the atmosphere.
            Rose skin
              will show on
                noses,
                  and one's ear.

Cheesy, Am I right? It was free writing (I forgot what it was called) but you had to write a poem and it didn't matter what is was like. I just had to be 10 lines long, and since this is the writer's thread, I thought this would fit well. :)]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Mason]]></name>
				<email><![CDATA[mindofmason@gmail.com]]></email>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/2302/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-04T19:45:55Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199165/#p199165</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199114/#p199114"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[Cool story, bro.]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Brickyman]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/110/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-04T14:17:18Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199114/#p199114</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199084/#p199084"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[[quote=MPfist0]I write in Italian.[/quote]

Perhaps a little late for me to say this, but I speak Italian. ;)]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[StudioL30]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/2295/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-04T08:27:14Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199084/#p199084</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199060/#p199060"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[Already gave you critique on that current story... :P

Here's my short story involving [i]Slender Man[/i]:

[url]http://www.mediafire.com/?qaqbfysdgzhu1mh[/url]]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Timothy R]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/13/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-04T02:16:16Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199060/#p199060</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199051/#p199051"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[This thread has been touched since... (wait for it)... Last Year!! [b][i]*lightning*[/i][/b]
D:
Sorry, Just had to say it. I hope this thread gets more attention, since it's a thread I actually like.]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Mason]]></name>
				<email><![CDATA[mindofmason@gmail.com]]></email>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/2302/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-04T01:36:18Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199051/#p199051</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199034/#p199034"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[Well this thread was EPIC FAIL:

[url]http://scypaxbooks.deviantart.com/gallery/28528638#/d38690e[/url]

^Another new short story by me, hoping for 4 chapters, already completed 3. :)]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Scypax]]></name>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/1116/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2011-02-03T23:55:21Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/199034/#p199034</id>
		</entry>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[Re: Writers' Thread]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/189825/#p189825"/>
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[i actually had a short story published of mine because my teacher liked it. i'm giving it to my mom for Christmas.]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[Mason]]></name>
				<email><![CDATA[mindofmason@gmail.com]]></email>
				<uri>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/user/2302/</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2010-12-24T13:44:57Z</updated>
			<id>https://bricksinmotion.com/forums/post/189825/#p189825</id>
		</entry>
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